So I've been challenged by my dear cousin, Bailey to post one "real blog post" which I assume means something that is not a survey full of isignificant questions. Blah. Oh well, here goes.
Pretty much, I have no news to share about anything going on in my life. Everything is basically same old boring day-to-day events that I will have forgotton about in a few months. (No offense to those of you who I've interacted with lately).
So I find myself in the same place I've been for a while, on my couch, half watching an episode of "Criminal Minds" and half browsing the internet for entertainment until I'm tired enough to go to bed. It's times like this that I often think about the lives other people lead and how everyone seems to have all this stuff going on. People have kids, husbands, important jobs, like the FBI agents on Criminal Minds. (yes, I'm actually a 75 year old woman, in case you were wondering) I love crime shows, but they give me nightmares sometimes.
Anyway, I often feel like my life is lacking in meaning, I'm not a "goal setter." I'm more of a "come what may" type. I love the idea that God is leading me through life with all of these exciting surprises around the corner, and all I have to do is follow His lead. I love looking back on my life so far and seeing the path that He has clearly lead me down to get to this point. It's so obvious. I wish it were that easy to see the path in front of you. I feel like the path has been swept away from sight by a little dog creature with a broom for a nose, (like on Disney's version of Alice in Wonderland, of course) and now I'm kinda stuck. I've let myself start to fall into the mindset that this season of my life is just simply not my "time to shine." (I do realize the lameness of that sentence).
I love the song by the Weepies called "Not your Year" - it's basically about being lonely, trying not to be, but realizing it's just "not your year." I know it sounds (and is) melodramatic, but I'm pretty sure this year isn't mine.
Just for the record: I'm really not trying to be dramatic, just "real" (for Bai). I'm really not even that lonely. I have GREAT friends, and AMAZING family, and a job that keeps me pretty darned busy. I have nothing but blessings in my life, and am grateful for everything. I'm just not clear on where I'm meant to be yet. And it's frustrating sometimes. I'm just going to leave it at that for now.
So, does that qualify, Bai? Now all the Aunts are going to talk about how I'm depressed & lonely when they do their nightly conference call to catch up on all the family gossip. (you know it happens, how else does news travel so quickly in this family?)
Love ya.
6 comments:
Love you, Meagan. Wish I had a reason to be back on your couch of a night or two....until then - just know I love you and understand COMPLETELY. Come visit....
it would be fun!
CTBD
Meagan I too understand completely - I have had many many nights doing that exact same thing - enjoy it while it lasts :). I love my life now, but I actually liked it alot then too, and I'm glad I had time to myself for awhile before I got married (though Jared would probably say it just gave me more time to get set in my messy ways).
Ok Meagan, nicely played. I think this qualifies as a tie. According to the rule book, article C, paragraph 5, section II: a tie can be awarded if the blog-off is between family members who have each made blog post according to the challenge set before them. Just remember what Michael (Bolton) says: How can we be [bloggers] if we can't be friends? How can we make [blogs] if the fighting never ends?
ps: the real Michael also has some advice and to you I dedicate "You are not alone"!
I thought that I would write to you before I called all the sisters. First of all you're dad and I could not be prouder of you and you're accomplishments, whether they be sitting on a couch, or being a sucessful working girl. Secondly, you're relationship with the Lord is what makes us the proudest! When I visited you're church with you I could see how much it ment to you, not to mention all the other effidents of you're life that points others to Jesus. We miss you so much every day, Love, Mom
Ditto on what Mama said.
I am proud of you, you are doing great. Not every moment is the most exciting, but you never know what God is doing to help prepare you or show you something down the road.
Also, I'm sure all the aunts feel the same way. At least you don't need happy mommy pills :)
Meggie- I love your real blogs and your survey blogs. Well I just love you so that sums it up for me. We miss you!
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